Roll 3d6 - Roleplaying Resources

Archives

Gaming Humor Classics

10 Tips For Evil Overlords

  • If an advisor says, "Your liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", you should reply "This." and kill the advisor.
  • If an enemy you have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards you in your old age.
  • Never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know".
  • The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in your Legions of Terror. However, before you send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
  • If your trusted lieutenant tells you that your Legions of Terror are losing a battle, believe him. After all, he's your trusted lieutenant.
  • Don't have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'll betray her family.
  • If an advisor says, "Your liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", you should reply "This." and kill the advisor.
  • Your security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints, then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence, will trigger the alarm system.
  • Don't require high-ranking female members of your organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
  • Don't fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings bad news just to illustrate how evil you really are. Good messengers are hard to come by.