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10 Things I Learned While Gaming

  • Whatever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner.
  • There is no Kung Fu maneuver "McGuire Swings For The Bleachers".
  • My character does not get d34 HP per level.
  • Chummer means he is my friend, not that sharks find him tasty.
  • There is no feat called Death Blossom.
  • My gnome does not like big butts and he can lie.
  • Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste.
  • I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda.
  • The green elf does not need food badly.
  • The following weapons are not legal choices in a duel: Steamroller, Nerve Gas, Landmine, Midget.