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We stumbled on a clearing where a golden stag with platinum antlers was grazing among ancient ruins. The stag turned out to be Aelar, a cursed elven prince stuck in deer form, kind enough to let us take some of the dozens of fallen antlers scattered around. Our rogue's eyes literally sparkled.

Then she tried to leave the ruins with one. It crumbled to ash in her bag.

She tried again. Ash.

She spent 20 real-life minutes trying every possible workaround. Wrap it in cloth. Put it in a magic lantern. Have someone else carry it. Throw it across the boundary, run to grab it. Every single time: ash.

The look on her face when she finally accepted "this treasure is condemned to stay forever in these cursed ruins" was the most heartbroken D&D moment I've ever seen. She still talks about those antlers months later.

What's the cruelest "you can look but you can't take it" moment your DM has ever pulled on your party?

So, I'm playing in this paper/pencil 2014 5e group with a handful of people I've never meet, including the DM. I'm used to being the forever DM, so I jumped at an opportunity to play for once.

Long story short, the DM is convinced that it is "completely unrealistic" for my character to be able to attack with her Rapier and then disengage and back away all in 6 seconds. When I first tried it, he said something about not being able to use a bonus action after your main action, which I quickly tried to correct and insisted he looked it up in the player's handbook.

He read off word for word the section about bonus actions, which is:

You can take only one bonus action on your turn, so you must choose which bonus action to use when you have more than one available.
You choose when to take a bonus action during your turn, unless the bonus action's timing is specified, and anything that deprives you of your ability to take actions also prevents you from taking a bonus action.
- pg. 189 Player's Handbook

Which, in my opinion is pretty cut and dry, but after reading it he still insisted that it wouldn't be possible. In his mind, it isn't realistic for a person to be able to do such a thing. So, instead of causing a fuss, I just respected his decision as a DM and moved on. As a DM myself, I've been there and I know that during the game isn't the best time to solve disagreements.

At the end of the session I brought it up again. I asked him to look into it online and reconsider because I believe that is a really big nerf to rogues. He told me he still didn't believe it was realistic, and made an argument about how if you commit to an attack there is no way you'd be able to change your momentum and back out. I argued that fencers do it all the time with lunging techniques but he followed up saying that I would reasonably be followed by my opponent, who wouldn't let me disengage so easily, to which I fired back that of course they could follow me, but it'd happen on their turn if they choose to do so.

Do you guys have any advice how I might convince him to see reason?

Violet

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Violet was born in the river city of Larksin. She was a courier from a young age. Her life changes when one of her letters goes up in magical flames one night. Revealing to her a map and markings in the shape of roses. As she journeys to these marked places, she is slowly made an enemy of her city. She is chased by the Night Watch into the depths of the undercity. There she comes upon something she could only imagine reading about. A tear in the fabric of reality, stars glistening from across the seam. To stay is to be captured and imprisoned or killed. To move forward is to journey into the unknown.

TLDR

Super new DM, and friend lacks basic DM skills and I don't want to play their unbalanced and unorganized homebrew campaign. How to politely tell them all the work they've spent homebrewing this campaign needs to be scrapped and they should start small and simple with a pre written adventure.

*****

I'll start by saying they are a wonderful person and I'm happy for them that they are excited to take on this role. This is their second time playing dnd and first time DMing. They jumped straight into a homebrewed, long form campaign. I cant keep playing it.

They dont know how to balance an encounter. Every encounter is set to TPK (unintentionally). They don't really like when things go off of the path they laid out for us. We found out that their partner, who is a player is ties to a huge prophecy saying that they will save the world. Like...what about us? Now the other players feel like side characters to them. We lost a PC to an unavoidable, unbalanced, inescapable, and unbeatable ambush of homebrewed monsters that felt like a random encounter. Our rolls dont seem to matter if they even ask us to roll. When we do the DCs they set are often ridiculously high. They ask for so much homework around our characters off table but I don't want to do that knowing in a blink of an eye that my character could be dead because they cant balance a fight and we cant avoid them. There's just so much going on. We've been in 3 major cities within the last 2 sessions. Every lead just takes us to a new lead and nothing in the last 4 months of playing has really lead to any answers or felt like it was furthering a plot.

Ugh, anyway. They are passionate and super into what they have planned but my wife and I are just so done. How do I tell them nicely that if they want to DM the group then they need to start small and start with pre-written adventures and build up their basic DMing skills first before diving into something so ambitious

Original Post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1syt29v/my_players_want_to_be_cars/

So I ran the car one shot and it worked really well, all it took was a little homebrewing, some adjustments at the table and the coolest players in the world. I made up a movement system to account for acceleration along with some basic quality of life fixes and dropped them in a world that was essentially a flattened ruined post-army-occupation land. The cars were from Irradiator Spring, an enormous crater with a magically rejuvenating Well of Petroleum. I put my personal ancient piece of shit 2003 Mazda 323 Protege in the position of leader of the petroleum car civilisation and gave them a religion worshipping the Great Spirit of Acceleration, with their Jesus-type figure being the Great Horse that all the cars looked after in a paddock to allow the Great Horse Power to flow through them.

They went on an adventure away from the Well of Petroleum to the centre of their little world to confront the Tesla Clan, electric vehicles that could survive in remote areas by recharging with portable means. They fought a pack of Segways to start with, scavengers who set spike traps and chop up cars for scrap, essentially your classic wolf fight.

Then, they had to capture a Smart Car from a remote garage which involved taking out the Tesla guard and chasing the Smart Car down as it tried to get away.

Finally, it culminated in assaulting an electrical generator that could transform regular electric cars into Lightning McQueens, operated by the fearsome Cybertruck.

The basic mechanics of all cars are as follows:

As a Car:

You are telepathic.

You have an invisible mage hand.

Your speed is 60ft but continuous movement doubles your speed every turn until you reach your max speed of 960ft (tier 5)

Tier 1: 60ft

Tier 2: 120ft

Tier 3: 240ft

Tier 4: 480ft

Tier 5: 960ft.

Your movement comes with a ram attack as an action, which deals 1d12 per 30ft moved to a cap of 10d12 (reached at tier 4). You take half the damage, reduced to a quarter if you succeed on a DC 10 con save (15 for motorbikes).

If you turn more than 90 degrees your move speed is halved and reset to Tier 1 unless you succeed on a DC 10 acrobatics check to drift.

If you acquire nitrous oxide, you may use it as part of your movement to immediately skip to the next speed tier.

You have a damage threshold of 10.

Your health is multiplied by 5.

I also gave each player a set of abilities based on their car type and class. Some examples include giving the player who was a Kawasaki Ninja rogue the ability to launch a grappling hook to drag small vehicles around/reach higher platforms or pop a wheelie to take on an acrobatics check and gain a speed boost, giving the Honda Odyssey wizard the ability to sacrifice movement tiers to gain a boost to spell attacks, save DCs and damage, and giving the Toyota Echo Echo Knight the ability to summon the ghost of a dinosaur from the spiritual energy resonating in its fossil fuel reserves.

The strongest attacks always ended up being rams, so the drift mechanic became very important to get around obstacles and maintain speed for high damage rams, and repairs are hard to come by so taking the damage yourself became an important trade off.

Some shenanigans that were the highlights for me personally:

- The Odyssey Wizard cast enlarge on itself and rammed two segways at full speed, succeeding on a con save against spike strips which would have otherwise been devastating.

- The Rogue launched a dagger at a window to shatter it and cast grease inside a Tesla and the Echo Knight launched its cigarette lighter inside to ignite it.

- The Echo Knight used its echo to fully box in a Tesla who had to do an athletics check to escape.

- The Odyssey Wizard cast enlarge again and drifted in front of the fleeing Smart Car to engulf and trap it within itself.

TL;DR:

Dnd absolutely can accommodate playing as cars if you’re willing to put in a little bit of homebrew work and have players who want to have fun.