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I've noticed 'there's an issue and I want to leave, what should I do?' is kind of a theme here, so I wanted to share this recent (last night) experience because I think it was handled really well.

Last year a few of us, mostly in our 40s and 50s, decided we wanted to learn to play. We reached out through our local game store and were introduced to a guy I'll call N.

N DMd for us for about six months, playing for a few hours each fortnight. Great guy, really patient, we all like him and I think he likes us.

We took a hiatus for a few months but stayed in touch and agreed this year that we'd take turns DMing one-shots and short campaigns. This would let N have a go as a player, which was something he wanted, while other members of the group expanded into DMing. It also accommodated busy schedules so a couple more friends could join in when available.

But it just felt like it wasn't gelling. N's a great guy, but it always felt like there was a subtle personality mismatch between him and the rest of the table, and this became more noticeable when he was a player instead of DM. Again, he's a great guy and he didn't do anything *wrong*, something just didn't quite fit.

Last night after our game N sent me a private message (we also have a group chat but I act as a sort of admin for us all). He said he didn't feel like things were working for him, he wished us all the best, but he'd be stepping away from the table.

I thanked him for teaching us and encouraged him to stay in touch.

Shortly after, he sent an equally nice, if vaguer, message to the group chat before leaving the chat.

It seems like so often things end in drama. I'd like to think this way is the norm and we just don't talk about it. N, if you read this, I totally understand and you really are welcome back any time.

I could write 50 pages on this topic, but I think this metaphor perfectly captures it. I know this is such a controversial idea for anyone who got into TTRPGs from watching actual plays, but it seems important for people to know that it wasn't always this way. I also absolutely love actual plays myself and I don't think anyone is really to blame at all for the way the culture has shifted.

I'm 31 and started DMing when I was 11 years old. I was always the DM with my middle schoool friends and made probably every bad story decision possible in the many years before actual plays came out.

I never knew I was 'supposed to worry' about how good my DMing was - that was such an alien concept to me back then and still is to me now. Imagine talking about backyard football with friends like how we talk about D&D:

"Really concerned about my tackling form when on the edge of my yard - has anyone else dealt with this?" "My friend says he doesn't want to play football anymore if John is invited - what should I do?" "I'm so frustrated I threw a bad pass yesterday, I feel like I failed my friends - how can I get better at throwing further down my backyard to my friend?"

It's not that it SHOULD be inherently easy for you, it's just that it doesn't matter how good of a DM you are if you are present, kind, and being a good friend.

We're all just in the backyard tossing a football around - it's cool if someone throws a really good pass, but no one should have to feel pressure for how well they throw the football.

If I could flip a switch to change the culture of unneeded stress and pressure people have playing a game for fun (like pick-up football) with your friends, I would give a lot to do that.

https://preview.redd.it/2i3f8lgpl7jh1.jpg?width=1140&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99a94746f3c9c6f543c4fe9a631abd7525d25460

Made a new and improved 'Dirty 20' version of my d20 dishwasher magnet! Solves a very minor annoyance in my life. When I run the dishwasher, I flip it to 'clean', that way someone else in the house doesn't accidentally put a dirty dish in with the clean ones before I've emptied it. Once I empty it, I flip it to 'dirty'.

3D printing files available for free on my Makerworld: https://makerworld.com/en/models/3074944-dnd-themed-d20-clean-dirty-dishwasher-magnet#profileId-3462219

If you don't have a 3D printer, I also sell them via my Etsy shop (link posted with mod approval): https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/4552811615/dungeons-and-dragons-clean-dirty?sr_prefetch=1&pf_from=shop_home&ref=shop_home_active_2&frs=1&logging_key=4029ca1d8dbd13bb6129e6834aa5b059856c8940%3A4552811615

Tolva is a Warforged Juggernaut , I honestly don't have much info on this guy besides the basic ideas the player had for inspiration, in his world the Warforged are human souls trapped in constructs to make them superior golem warriors, they is squat and heavy built to take heavy hits and stand their ground while also delivering heavy hits themselves, Tolva has been active for over a 100 years and over this time they have changed their body parts a couple of times and upgraded it, they prefer to fight barehand delivering knuckle sandwiches but sometimes they exchange their hands for heavy weaponry if the situation demands it.

In combat as a DM; do you target the player who is doing the most damage, the one designed to be a tank, whomever is closest, or do you base it on player HP? I know some DMs play "smart" and try to "win" while others might play softball. How do you decide who to target?

Ferrin is a green scaled Dragonborn druid of the Circle of Wildfire, wandering the wilds as a guardian of balance and renewal. He believes fire is not merely destruction, but nature’s way of clearing the old to make room for new life. Clad in travel worn robes, he carries a mystical green flame that burns with warmth. Wherever he goes, Ferrin leaves behind ashes, new growth, and the promise of renewal. Commission made for a player's original character.

It is good with every class, you can get it with the farmer background or at level 4 and depending on your level it effectively double your HP

I am a new DM, having played session 2 today. One of my player though, as said in the title, wanted to kill all of the villagers. During a raid in the village he threw stuff at villagers occasionally. After the fight I made the villagers celebrate the other player as a god, because they haven't seen any magic, and attacked the other one, killing him in the process. But because I didn't want him to die yet, I let my other player cast "spares the dying", making the villagers believe the dead player returned and is chosen.

I hope I did the right thing, showing him what he shouldn't do. What can I do to prevent it happening again, should I just let him die next time?

The thing is, I can't loose him as a player, as I live in a rural town and was only able to get two players and he is a kind of friend of mine.

I was supposed to be hosting my first DND game with my friends today who are a bunch of newbies. It was going to be my introduction to DND and I’ve been looking forward to it everyday for 2 weeks.

I’ve been there to help them make character sheets (aka: “let’s call, I’ll write the numbers and hard stuff down, you pick and choose things that sound fun”), learning the basics about each of their classes so I can teach them things they might not know. (They all aren’t unaware to dnd but they haven’t played it.)

I’ve been incorporating their characters into my world, looking at resources to help make me a better DM. I even made a player doc to have all the world info and all the resources that I used to make their characters IN CASE they wanted to make their own or expand upon what we did. But god, I AM FRUSTRATED!

In this friend group there’s my best friend, a friend I’ve had for a long time, and someone I hardly know but is friends with my best friend. I’ve been offering my help to the latter since before this month started, asking them if they needed help with their character (all they had to do was make a cantrip list and get a name and appearance to finish it off). And they’ve been telling me, “okay, thanks!”. On five separate occasions.

My best friend is super motivated, made an amazing character, but called off last minute due to what I think is an emergency. The friend I’ve had for a while is constantly busy but has a huge respect for people’s time, so she obviously made ends meet just for me. The one I hardly know, messaged me today that things weren’t so “okay, thanks!”. Asking me to call off the game today and reschedule because they don’t like their character.

And even STILL I offered to help them make a new one bc it was still hours before game time.

They ghosted me.

This module isn’t great to run with one player either. I just wish people were honest about this kind of thing, even a day before the play time is better than this.